Dear Marijuana Again! (Reflections of a Rehab Escapee)

If you read my post: Dear Marijuana

it will not come as a surprise that I found my ass in rehab. Well, at least it wasn’t a mental institution, though the difference might be lost on some people (me included). incase you are wondering I did not go willingly even though like a like a dumb fuck I packed my bags. Coercion and blackmail played the greatest role in getting me there unfortunately they were not enough to make me to stay. I skipped the joint after the first two weeks, on the night of my 21st birthday (It was also the final for Champions League) no less!

My parents were understandably less than excited to have the problem they had dumped in rehab wake them up at 1.00 AM on a Sunday, so i was promptly taken back. Two more weeks had me ready to ditch the place again this time for good. I had no intention of repeating my mistake to have my parents deport me, so it was me against the world. It may seem like I didn’t learn much but you’ll be shocked how much I picked up in four weeks!

Rehab sucks! I won’t lie, with the exception of the very cool people (read addicts) I met there, everything else made me want to slash my wrists. Unfortunately, I am kinda in love with myself and completely unable to cause myself any pain whatsoever. There are all sorts of people in rehab, it was not what I expected at all. My roommate was a delightful little heroine addict visiting rehab for the second time after a relapse, she held my hand and walked me through all the strangeness.

You’d think all animals are equal but apparently even in rehab some addicts are more equal than others. Alcoholics lorded over us thinking themselves the highest of all us lowlife junkies, the reason was lost on me, hazarding a guess probably because their vice was the most socially acceptable. I itched to tell them that until public demand shifted the scales of justice, puritans had made their drug of choice illegal just like ours, however i forgave them because their withdrawal was ugly to witness.

Lucky for marijuana enthusiasts, we suffer no withdrawal when separated from our beloved. Only one other person was there purely for cannabis and we got along splendidly with the other junkies . Users of heroine and cocaine made for great company after they emerged from the terror of withdrawal of serious narcotics. They were not as ill tempered as the alcoholics who seemed to be in constant need of someone to bash to make themselves feel better. Junkies had amazing stories of the escapades they witnessed in pursuit of their fix. We also shared the general misplaced feeling spanning from being locked up and forced into the AA program that held little insight or appeal to us.

The prison wardens (read counsellors) were the actual reason I could not abide. Being treated like someone not concerned or conscious of their own existence was initially demeaning though I thought I could grin and bear it while counting down my three months. i soon realized it got much worse, than being treated like a toddler, we were considered mentally unstable and incapable of rational decision making. The rebel i am, these unacceptable constants saw me clash with the ‘law’ and I was not ready to apologize yet I was right.

Captivity paired with the mind numbing boredom of having nothing to do but listen to the droning on during group counseling brings out strange things in people. There was this one crazy guy, well there were many crazy guy but one really got to me. He’d walk around muttering under his breath writing in a little notebook talking to no one but his charming self. When i was informed that most of the crazies, him included were normal upon arrival, I thought my newfound buddies were playing ‘scare the newbie’. Terror sank in as I observed him get worse in my month there, he stopped mumbling and started yelling rap verses (his original pieces) out loud, accosting people on issues they had no clue about and acting very bizarrely(he made grillz from paper foil wrapping margarine) amongst other things.

I needed no further encouragement, my sanity was not up for grabs and I couldn’t gamble on it. Truth was i could feel my ends fraying and I ditched that joint before they unravelled. It has been three months since I said adios amigos, no hasta la vista baby, unlike the terminator I will never be back.

Dear Marijuana

I never thought I’d see this day, but I need to stop seeing you for a while. First let me assure you that though it may sound cliche, it’s not you it’s me. You have every right to hate me. I’m the reason we can’t be together anymore. The least I owe you is an explanation.
I got careless and disapproving people found out about us. It shames me more than I can say to bend to the will of these judgmental third parties who think I ought to be ashamed of you. I’m not. At the mention of your name, they get a somber (for the ‘concerned’) or scandalized (for the judgmental). I’ve thought it through and if I attempted to defend you…. They’d think I had gone crazy and check me into a facility(rehab/mental). They don’t know you like I do. I’ll always love you albeit from a distance.
I’ll spend my time away from you building myself and my empire to prove myself to a level where people shall be wise enough to keep their opinions. Apparently when I’m with you I have no time for anyone or anything else. I think they’re just jealous. When we meet again you just may not recognize me, our reunion will be on the beaches of California or streets of Amsterdam where no one will look at us funny for PDA.
In the meantime I know you know I love you and you are irreplaceable to me if it was up to me we’d never part. I have to say it anyway because cowardice which made me not stand up for you makes me incredibly guilty. I hope you can forgive me and remember me fondly as I will you.

10 Things I’ll Miss About You.
1.You
You’ve shown and taught me so much since the day we met, I don’t know where to begin. You helped me leash my Wild&Impulsive side and flammable temper that escalated situations and got me into trouble. Now I always appear Cool, Calm and Collected and choose and fight my battles wisely.
You are the the catalyst for my creativity and enable me to get out of my own way and write without criticizing myself.  I honestly haven’t figured out to do this part without you.

2.Stoner Community
I met so many people I’d never have known otherwise. Different as night and day and in most cases united only by you. A good number of them will never forgive me for betraying you but with time they’ll accept me since #StonersAreNotLoners.

3. That First Puff
If you’ve met my Lady MaryJane then you definitely know what I’m talking about. That first puff that fires you up before you can even judge the quality of the bud and decide if #JahBless the farmer(for good stuff).

4. The High
You experience everything afresh the first time you get high right. Everything is better. The sound of music, taste of food, the wind in your face, the graphics on a video game… Everything.

5. Stoner Sex
The thought is enough to make me tingly in my fun parts. Seriously get enough high grade in me and I can go all night or evening if it was a 4.20 affair.

6. Marijuana Moments
You haven’t heard or seen anything stoopid unless you’ve hang out with stoners. You never what will be said or done next as everyone’s Marijuana moment shows them some different.

7. Team Munchies
Emerging from the den and destroying  your way through whatever food is unfortunate enough to stand in your way.

8. Agents/Pedis
Of all peddlers only kush agents can get high on their supply(and customers) happily and without fear. You get into their crib ivi and they start telling you vile hii ni ya wazito… If you express any doubt anakuchoma on the spot. Get high, company comes by, times fly and you emerge higher than a kite on a windy day swearing next time to take his word for it.

9. Rooftops
Countless rooftops visited, amazing views. We can all be pilots with you, on a rooftop only your imagination limits how high we fly.

10. Accessories/4.20ism
Being part is the #legalizeit movement around the world and standing proud using small accessories. Key chains, T-shirts, tattoos, posters, graffiti, jewelry etcetera 

Help a baby blogger out and share!

Dear Marijuana

I never thought I’d see this day, but I need to stop seeing you for a while. First let me assure you that though it may sound cliche, it’s not you it’s me. You have every right to hate me. I’m the reason we can’t be together anymore. The least I owe you is an explanation.
I got careless and disapproving people found out about us. It shames me more than I can say to bend to the will of these judgmental third parties who think I ought to be ashamed of you. I’m not. At the mention of your name, they get a somber (for the ‘concerned’) or scandalized (for the judgmental). I’ve thought it through and if I attempted to defend you…. They’d think I had gone crazy and check me into a facility(rehab/mental). They don’t know you like I do. I’ll always love you albeit from a distance.
I’ll spend my time away from you building myself and my empire to prove myself to a level where people shall be wise enough to keep their opinions. Apparently when I’m with you I have no time for anyone or anything else. I think they’re just jealous. When we meet again you just may not recognize me, our reunion will be on the beaches of California or streets of Amsterdam where no one will look at us funny for PDA.
In the meantime I know you know I love you and you are irreplaceable to me if it was up to me we’d never part. I have to say it anyway because cowardice which made me not stand up for you makes me incredibly guilty. I hope you can forgive me and remember me fondly as I will you.

10 Things I’ll Miss About You.
1.You
You’ve shown and taught me so much since the day we met, I don’t know where to begin. You helped me leash my Wild&Impulsive side and flammable temper that escalated situations and got me into trouble. Now I always appear Cool, Calm and Collected and choose and fight my battles wisely.
You are the the catalyst for my creativity and enable me to get out of my own way and write without criticizing myself.  I honestly haven’t figured out to do this part without you.

2.Stoner Community
I met so many people I’d never have known otherwise. Different as night and day and in most cases united only by you. A good number of them will never forgive me for betraying you but with time they’ll accept me since #StonersAreNotLoners.

3. That First Puff
If you’ve met my Lady MaryJane then you definitely know what I’m talking about. That first puff that fires you up before you can even judge the quality of the bud and decide if #JahBless the farmer(for good stuff).

4. The High
You experience everything afresh the first time you get high right. Everything is better. The sound of music, taste of food, the wind in your face, the graphics on a video game… Everything.

5. Stoner Sex
The thought is enough to make me tingly in my fun parts. Seriously get enough high grade in me and I can go all night or evening if it was a 4.20 affair.

6. Marijuana Moments
You haven’t heard or seen anything stoopid unless you’ve hang out with stoners. You never what will be said or done next as everyone’s Marijuana moment shows them some different.

7. Team Munchies
Emerging from the den and destroying  your way through whatever food is unfortunate enough to stand in your way.

8. Agents/Pedis
Of all peddlers only kush agents can get high on their supply(and customers) happily and without fear. You get into their crib ivi and they start telling you vile hii ni ya wazito… If you express any doubt anakuchoma on the spot. Get high, company comes by, times fly and you emerge higher than a kite on a windy day swearing next time to take his word for it.

9. Rooftops
Countless rooftops visited, amazing views. We can all be pilots with you, on a rooftop only your imagination limits how high we fly.

10. Accessories/4.20ism
Being part is the #legalizeit movement around the world and standing proud using small accessories. Key chains, T-shirts, tattoos, posters, graffiti, jewelry etcetera 

Help a baby blogger out and share!